The Harvard Business Blog recently published an article entitled When to Keep Your Mouth Shut, taking a look at the high cost of over-communicating. They give some examples: continuing to describe product features after you’ve convinced your audience, starting with an apology for a lack of preparedness or a pilot letting passengers know over the intercom that they’ll have enough gas to reach their destination.
It’s these moments, where nothing needs to be said, that someone tries to fill the space and ends up losing momentum, or worse, trust.
So I tried to think up some instances of when the church over-communicates and loses focus:
- The prayers that start and end the announcements after the pastor just ended the message with a prayer. Heck, announcements after the message in general.
- Long-winded pulpit explanations that most Sundays aren’t like this week (usually because you’re talking about church finances or structure).
- The lead singer who can’t help but give a mini-sermon at the start of each song.
- Apologizing for the typo on the screen, the error in lighting, the misplaced set item, etc.
Sometimes it is just better to keep your mouth shut and let your actions do the talking. Sometimes it is just better to keep your mouth shut and not draw attention to things that wouldn’t garner attention in the first place.
So what do you think, what are some times churches ought to just shut up?
Eric Partin
May 7, 2009
When someone gets done speaking, usually a guest speaker or another member of the staff, and the pastor has to get up afterwards and explain what that speaker just said.
Especially frustrating when said speaker plans out the talk to strategically end for maximum impact and someone has to add their 2 cents.
Duane Bower
May 7, 2009
Couldn’t agree more!
Kyle Kinnaman
May 7, 2009
As a musician the last thing I want to do is acknowledge something wrong – a bad note, a missed lick – anything. I know I’m not (insert your music hero here) but there’s no reason to give the audience a chance to dismiss your effort by dropping your head or giggling or getting the “deer in headlights” look.
For a production of any kind, commenting on what’s wrong steals attention from the content at hand. I think church folk feel inclined to apologize for what’s wrong (human) in order to get people to listen to what’s right (the divine).
It’s not about looking professional, it’s about knowing that what we do in a worship service will not bring people to Christ. Only He can do that.
As a corollary to that, I can only see an upside to having a “speaker’s guide” that lays out expectations for those called to teach, offer benedictions or lead worship.
We’re so concerned about our carefully crafted logos and multimedia – maybe we should be concerned about our demeanor and words. Not to be fake by not pointing out the stumbling blocks, but being authentic by leading others around them.
Huw Tyler
May 7, 2009
Notices that apply to committed members go over the head of visitors and make new members feel isolated and excluded. Explaining notices so that these people understand them just makes it longwinded and bores everyone!
Some things are best left out of main meetings. Midweek prayer meeting or core membership meetings are a great place to talk about church business, admin and giving.
Other overshares…
– Explaining the topic or story of a video that is about to be shown
– Throw away jokes in preaches that just aren’t funny
Andy B.
May 7, 2009
– Apologizing for a low attendance week. It’s a double whammy too, complaining about how small the crowd is to the people who are there really doesn’t accomplish much.
Joshua Cody
May 7, 2009
Andy B – good one!
e. barrett
May 8, 2009
I was thinking about this the other week. I do a lot of teaching (both professionally and volunteer-wise) and one of the best tactics you can use is silence. After you make a strong point, sometimes saying nothing for a few seconds is the best way to make it stick.
But often as a communicator you feel the “pressure of the silence” and it’s hard to not fill that void. It’s the same for groups – most people hate the idea of being alone with their thoughts, so they fill it with talking, music, or anything else.
e. barrett
May 8, 2009
I was thinking about this the other week. I do a lot of teaching (both professionally and volunteer-wise) and one of the best tactics you can use is silence. After you make a strong point, sometimes saying nothing for a few seconds is the best way to make it stick.
But often as a communicator you feel the “pressure of the silence” and it’s hard to not fill that void. It’s the same for groups – most people hate the idea of being alone with their thoughts, so they fill it with talking, music, or anything else.
Ani R.
May 9, 2009
How about the speaker who feels the need to cram every piece of info he can into the sermon notes page & power point so people won’t miss out on all the wisdom he’s shared in his sermon? Is there a kind & gentle way to let him know that if people have zoned out half-way through his message from information overload, they’re certainly not going to go back and read a double-sided page of talking points about it?
Roger
May 10, 2009
When speakers or musicians get up and apologies before they play or speak at how they are not a good speaker or player.
mike
May 13, 2009
sometimes we are too focussed on being “professional” and having “excellence” — sort of christian worship leader terms that describes having everything perfect based on the mistaken belief that visitors/guests/nont-yet-christians will immediately leave the church at the first hint of something not done right. the problem is two-fold: it assumes that people in “the world” cannot tolerate mistakes. it also assumes that churches are to focus on being “attractional” rather than “missional” that the sunday morning service is the end all be all of the church’s ministry.
i suggest we relax a little more and be real rather than trying to be something that is impossible.
mike
May 13, 2009
sometimes we are too focussed on being “professional” and having “excellence” — sort of christian worship leader terms that describes having everything perfect based on the mistaken belief that visitors/guests/nont-yet-christians will immediately leave the church at the first hint of something not done right. the problem is two-fold: it assumes that people in “the world” cannot tolerate mistakes. it also assumes that churches are to focus on being “attractional” rather than “missional” that the sunday morning service is the end all be all of the church’s ministry.
i suggest we relax a little more and be real rather than trying to be something that is impossible.
mike
May 13, 2009
sometimes we are too focussed on being “professional” and having “excellence” — sort of christian worship leader terms that describes having everything perfect based on the mistaken belief that visitors/guests/nont-yet-christians will immediately leave the church at the first hint of something not done right. the problem is two-fold: it assumes that people in “the world” cannot tolerate mistakes. it also assumes that churches are to focus on being “attractional” rather than “missional” that the sunday morning service is the end all be all of the church’s ministry.
i suggest we relax a little more and be real rather than trying to be something that is impossible.
Doug
May 13, 2009
Since the comments have taken a more “worship-oriented” bent, here is why we must be careful about what we say: Because the world is FULL of distractions that can keep us from noticing and responding to God, and people have more-or-less stated with their actions that they have come to focus on Him (at whatever level that may be–from curious to committed), we should do everything we can to not cause even more distractions.
Jennifer
May 14, 2009
What if the desire to be excellent has more to do with ‘working as to the Lord’ rather than with the primary consciousness of what ‘the audience’ is thinking? Mistakes then require no apology, except to the one we’re working for — and he knows if it is really a mistake, or just poor planning. Some of this talk-talk is born out of a misplaced sense of priority — we’re working for God, not for the congregation, remember?
My particular pet peeve is the nice but not truthful talk-talk when someone in a key position is departing. Like the time our former pastor spent 15 minutes extolling the virtues of someone he had just fired, going on about what good friends they were, etc. Talk about killing credibility…
Rose Coward
December 10, 2011
Some great thoughts here, I’m trying to log them in my memory. I do appreciate though when the music leader gives a short explanation before a song, so that we are worshiping God in “mind” and not just in “soul” and “strength”. But perhaps the emphasis was on “each” song. It does us good service to be called to consider what it is we are saying to God.