This sounds ridiculous, but I don’t think I have ever seen my pastor’s wife with him in any service I have attended. I’ve been going for nearly three years. I have seen her, and I know what she looks like (I think), but I never see them together, not to mention brought up to say hi, greet people every once in a while, or stand next to him during worship.
I understand shy spouses, protective pastors and schedule conflicts. (I know my pastor’s wife is the main church administrator so she is behind-the-scenes a lot.)
Regardless, your spouse should be seen—and recognized as being with you—if not regularly, occasionally. I don’t have any fancy research to back this opinion up, but I think it would go a long way in promoting and fostering community.