Church Marketing Sucks

With Easter Sunday and April Fools occurring the same day, church communicators need to be prepared for an onslaught of poorly planned pranks and misplaced puns.

Easter is serious. But it’s also glorious and joyful. Jesus rose from the dead! We should be ready to jump and run, kind of like the disciples did that first Easter Sunday.

Regardless of how your church is approaching this Easter, you could probably use a break from all the preparations. And we’ve got one we think you’ll appreciate. In this post, we’ll teach you how to thwart your pastor’s ill-timed April Fools jokes. Because c’mon, what pastor can resist an April Fool’s/Easter pun? (No promises about our tactics, though. Some of them might disrupt services.)

1. Flag on the … Sermon

If your pastor follows football, they likely know what a yellow flag means. Go ahead and toss one any time they begin a joke. They’ll get the reference. And if they don’t, cough exaggeratedly. They still don’t get it? Cough again. When they look at you, either shake your head “no” or use a cut-off gesture. (A cane might be a bit much, but you hypothetically could yank them off the stage.)

2. Impromptu Sing-a-Long

Rather than throwing a flag, start an impromptu sing-a-long. We recommend the hymn “Low in the Grave He Lay.” (You might be more familiar with the hymn’s chorus: “Up from the grave he arose, with a mighty triumph o’er his foes.) If your church skews younger or prefers a more upbeat tempo, start singing “Forever.”

3. Kids With Cue Cards

Easter tends to be a good time for a children’s pageant (Aw, so cute!), so involve the kids in your plans. Give them cue cards and, when your pastor starts to joke, prompt them to stand up and display them. The cards could have the letters “E, A, S, T, E, and R” on them, or have competing “He is risen!” and “He is risen indeed!” cue cards.

4. Mass Exodus of Moms

If you want to stop a sermon in its tracks, issue an alert to all the moms with kids in the nursery. The mass exodus will produce speechlessness. (It’ll interrupt services, too, but an interruption seems better than a bad one liner.)

5. Never-Ending Prayer

Someone usually prays before the pastor preaches. Ask this person to pray for a couple of minutes longer than usual. Sure, it’ll provoke fidgeting and rustling, but it could force the pastor to cut their opening remarks. You can ensure the cutting happens, by asking the person who prays to apologize before leaving the stage: “Sorry, Pastor, I guess you’ll have to skip the sermon’s opening.” (#SorryNotSorry)

6. Path of Post-Its

We love Post-It Notes, don’t you? They can be put to great purposes, such as papering an office or car. They can also be used to remind your pastor to avoid the jokes and shenanigans. You could create a path of Post-Its, but placing them strategically could work just as well—perhaps stick the notes at locations like the coffeemaker, office, and sermon notes.

7. Peeps in the Pulpit

We fawn over Post-It Notes, but we despise Peeps. (You adore them? Well, we can’t agree about everything.) However, Peeps could be a great tool for preventing April Fools from interfering with Easter Sunday. Simply set up the marshmallow chicks along the pulpit or podium. Stand aside and wait for the beady-eyed marshmallows to affect your pastor. You’ll know when it happens. Your pastor will blanch, raise their eyebrows, or step back in dismay.

8. Sleeper Resurrection

Finally, find the person who falls asleep in service. (You know who they are, despite their protestations of innocence. And if you don’t, your pastor almost certainly does.) Ask this person to “resurrect” during the service, maybe exclaiming, “Jesus is alive!” Your pastor will be stunned, and the service will be saved.

So we’ve had our fun. We hope you enjoyed the laughter and lightheartedness. But seriously, may this Easter remind you of God’s kindness in sending his Son to live the life we couldn’t, to die the death we deserve, and to rise again, victorious forevermore.