September 25, 2008

Your Church Smells

Endorphin branding. Does your church do it? Maybe I should tell you what it is first.

Per Newsweek (reporting a P.R. e-mail), endorphin branding is "the use of scent as a means of imprinting a highly emotional, positive experience in tandem with a targeted signature scent, which can be reintroduced at a later time to trigger and recreate the desired response."

Every now and then, a completely random smell will draw me in to some inexplicable happiness from my past. So here's the question to ask yourself, "Does my church have a smell? Or does my church stink so bad that its smell wouldn't trigger happy memories?"

Maybe putting a church scent in your style guide is the next step in church branding.

Posted by Joshua Cody at 2:07 PM
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September 5, 2008

Hire These Guys

You'll need to wait until they get out of trouble with the law, but we've got some guys your church probably needs to hire. From March to May, the two members of TEAL (Typo Eradication Advancement League) took a cross-country march to eradicate typos and misspellings. They have this to say about the trip:

"This March through May, we, sworn members of TEAL, will be taking a road trip around the country to stamp out as many typos as we can find, in public signage and other venues where innocent eyes may be befouled by vile stains on the delicate fabric of our language."

They were going from Boston to San Diego. Unfortunately, when they corrected a hand-painted historical marker at the Grand Canyon, the government stepped in. I could never find exactly what typo they were fixing, but I hope it was worth a year of probation and a lifetime ban from national parks.

Either way, all you church folks need to hunt these guys down immediately and inquire whether they are available as church bulletin, sign and web site proofers. Like they did for so many independent businesses, the Rockefeller Center and the Grand Canyon signage, maybe they can help keep your chruch from embarassing missspellings, too.

• The Chicago Tribune has the lengthy story about them.
• NPR covers the story, with audio.
• Laughing squid covers the story, with pictures.
• Google's cache of the (now gone) About TEAL site.

(link via Kem Meyer)

Posted by Joshua Cody at 6:35 AM
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August 15, 2008

Praying for Rain on Obama & Saying No to Money

Here we have two case studies in why Church Marketing Sucks still sucks:

Church Rejects Donation from Lottery Winner
The title pretty much says it all. $600,000 could do a heck of a lot for your marketing budget. And taking $600,000 to invest in the community could be a wonder for the way you're viewed. Or, you could take the press hit and the "dummy" label by making the Drudge Report for refusing $600,000. Perhaps you'll get some points for sticking to your guns and refusing to accept money from sin. But in all likelihood, people around you will think you're irrational for giving a lottery winner $600,000 extra to gamble rather than taking it and multiplying it for the kingdom.

Man Prays for Rain to Spoil Obama's Speech
The first line of this story reads, "A former pastor and former TV meteorologist." When you start politicking from the pulpit and combining prayer with your weather forecast, that's when you become a former pastor and meteorologist. Now Stuart Shephard is working for Focus on the Family and leading nationwide campaigns for rain on Obama. For the records, praying to smite people who disagree with you is never good marketing.

Posted by Joshua Cody at 7:58 AM
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July 22, 2008

Jesus Goes Marketing

If you're interested in spending a few minutes checking out some funny photos, you might want to see the blog at NEOchurch. Essentially, they dressed up like Jesus and took their message to the streets. It's good fun and offers a little off the wall inspiration.

Posted by Joshua Cody at 7:52 AM
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June 6, 2008

Language for the Next Generation

All you church marketers have to stay on your lingo A-game. Your church service probably won't attract many folks if you describe it as "groovy," "neat-o-rama" or "super duper." Mastering language is essential for properly explaining what's going on in terms the culture can understand.

That's why we're proud to point you to an article highlighting entries from the 2008 cultural dictionary. You'll meet such common millennial words as compuncate, meatspace, bacn and porntastic.

To give you some context, for your church to reach peachfuzz billionaires sporting that bershon look in meatspace, you'll need to provide them passion buckets or some totally porntastic events, lest they should defriend you.

(link via MMI)

Posted by Joshua Cody at 9:50 AM
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March 17, 2008

When Church Marketing Sucks

Any church marketers out there looking for a job involving a healthy dose of damage control? Check out these couple of churches.

• Trinity United Church of Christ. Barack Obama's church is in some hot water. (We discussed his views on church marketing earlier.) This week, his pastor made it a point to violate one of the basic rules of church marketing (and the law): Don't endorse a candidate. He decided to endorse Obama often from the pulpit, and now the IRS is considering revoking their tax-exempt status. Oops!
• Unnamed Daphne, Alabama church. Officials are thinking an outbreak of E. coli in three Alabamans might have come from meat at a church cookout in Daphne, Alabama. The lesson here? It sounds silly, but in reality, burned burgers are the safe choice at your church cookout. It's a big liability to let just anyone cook meat for people visiting with you, and giving them a disease? Bad marketing.

Posted by Joshua Cody at 8:53 AM
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February 12, 2008

Obama Disses Church Marketing

All right, so it wasn't that bad, and it's probably a statement most of you would agree with, but here's a quote from a Barack Obama speech (video or text), where he takes a shot at church marketing while explaining why church marketing is necessary:

"Americans are a religious people. 90% of us believe in God, 70% affiliate themselves with an organized religion, 38% call themselves committed Christians. Substantially more people in America believe in angels than they do in evolution. This religious tendency is not simply the result of successful marketing by skilled preachers or the draw of popular megachurches. In fact, it speaks to a hunger that is deeper than that, a hunger that goes deeper than any particular issue or cause. Each day it seems, that thousands of Americans who are going about their daily rounds--they're dropping off their kids, they're driving to the office, they're flying to a business meeting, they're shopping at the mall, they're trying to stay on their diets--and they're coming to the realization that something's missing. They're deciding that their work, their possessions, their diversions, their sheer business is not enough. They want a sense of purpose, a narrative arc to their life; they're looking to relieve a chronic loneliness, a feeling supported by a recent study that shows Americans have fewer close friends and confidants than ever before, and so they need assurance that someone out there cares about them, is listening to them. That they are not just destined to travel down that long highway towards nothingness."

These days, politicians aren't known for being in touch with the common person. But even politicians can see that Average Joe is looking for something deeper. Are you letting your community know you're there and you're open? Are you doing remarkable things?

Posted by Joshua Cody at 8:12 AM
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November 13, 2007

Handvertising?

by Greg Atkinson, Guest Blogger

What on earth is handvertising? Just what you think--it's advertising on the back of someone's hand, available from Handvertising USA. They wanted me to blog about this new form of advertising that's "completely different from the television commercials and magazine ads people are used to," according to their press release. Sounds mark-of-the-beast-ilicious, doesn't it?

This new approach raises more questions than answers. Is marketing going too far? Could anyone take this seriously in a church setting?

Personally, I'm a big proponent of the "less is more" theory. I've written on it several times. I wonder if this is a sign of saturation in this booming field of communication. Maybe I'm alone and you love the idea. Maybe you think NASCAR could use some more ads on their cars and drivers. I wonder if churches are better off concentrating our efforts on doing a few things well, rather than lots things of cheap and cheesy.

But could something like handvertising be used in an effective way? What about putting your youth group's logo on the hands of students as they enter your events, concerts or lock-ins? What if a key word, theme or Scripture verse that was emphasized in your worship service was stamped on the back of your hand as a reminder as you go throughout the coming week? That physical reminder could build connection, sharpen shared experiences and be a powerful tool to reinforce spiritual commitments.

Or it could just be annoying as you try to scrub it off the next day.

Is all this non-sense? Again, I don't know. I'm simply giving you food for thought. So I ask, how many of you can see yourself using a marketing ploy like this in your ministry context and culture? How many of you think this is a crazy idea?

Posted by Guest Blogger at 6:04 AM
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March 27, 2007

Puns, Revisited

Reuters is bring worldwide attention to the crucial issue of church puns. Initially, I thought this was becoming a pundemic (I know. It's not even funny anymore). Now, churches seem to be embracing the idea of puns and using them to raise awareness about bigger issues. For example:

• "Fight truth decay"
• "Come in for a free faith lift."
• "Chxxch -- Have you guessed what's missing. UR!"

Amen. Relevant and literarily beautiful. Not to mention health-conscious. Now, the UK church property specialists Congregational & General Insurance is looking for the best church puns ever. So get your thinking cap on and let them know! Or not.

When marketing for your church, maybe puns deserve more credit than they get. Or maybe Reuters is poking fun. That's for you to decide.

Long ago, we asked you about puns. The enlightened 44% of you championed their cause. Some of you have just missed the boat. As for me, I too missed the boat. And I'm staying off.

Posted by Joshua Cody at 10:58 AM
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March 7, 2007

Church Staff Split Over 'Sucks'

Oh, LarkNews, a site after my own heart. You know our pain and you let us chuckle together: Staff Split Over 'Sucks'

(link via Mike Atkinson)

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 7:14 AM
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February 6, 2007

Come Be Hosed, Healed

This past Sunday, the Los Angeles United House of Prayer held a mass water baptism (registration required) as part of its 80th annual Holy Convocation. They unleashed the power--literally--by turning on fire hoses and letting the water "heal" the city.

Pastor Wilbert Swaringer harkened the moment to the civil rights era when hoses were used to fight people. But now, he said, "we are using the hose for healing." Everyone who attended the church--even those who didn't--were encouraged to take part, even if they had already been baptized.

Hosing people has been done in other cities such as New York and Philadelphia, but this is the first time it has been done in California said organizing officials.

Posted by Brad Abare at 6:57 AM
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January 18, 2007

Church Walls as Billboards: Your Ad Here

"Your Ad Here" and "Your Corporate Logo Here" displayed alternately for two and a half hours on the side of the Cathedral of our Lady of Angels in Los Angeles, fully visible to commuters on the northbound Hollywood freeway Wednesday evening. Is the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles that hard up for cash? Well, after a $40 million clergy sex abuse settlement, yes, but it's not their ad. It's the work of 28-year-old artist James Cui. Using a laptop, a video projector and a generator he looks for blank, dark walls where he can display his work.

That sort of church marketing would suck, as Tod Tamburg, spokesman for the diocese says in what has to be the best 'duh' quote ever:

"A church tower is different from a billboard. If it wasn't, we would have been selling ad space 2,000 years ago," he said. "There are plenty of ways to communicate without making ad space out of your sanctuaries. I think most people would react negatively to that."

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 7:07 AM
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December 15, 2006

Rappin' Pastors, Renamin' Churches, Sharin' Graphics

• Rapping Pastors - When we did our Christmas marketing poll we forgot all about full-on rap videos. I bet that would have beaten out extra services. Who wants extra church when you can have rapping pastors? The creative promotion has landed the church in the newspaper, TV and Hannity & Colmes. Pastor Gary Lamb also offers some encouragement to his church in the face of some criticism. That's right--forget the haters and shake it, Santa!
• Shared Worship Background Graphics - Inspired by the Church Marketing Lab, this group is all about, well, sharing worship background graphics. Rather than critique, this is about sharing and using.
• Hog Church No More - Hog Mountain Baptist Church is voting to change its name (they're dropping the hog, not the Baptist), mainly because much of the area has dropped the name, but also because "in the Bible, hogs are associated with sin." Huh? In other church name change news (somebody should start a blog dedicated to church name changes), History Church in Reston, Va. is considering a name change. Pastor Ben Arment is blogging about the process, and keeping us updated. So far he's learned that people want "Reston" in the name, as well as words like "hope" and "new". I think it's settled then--Reston New Hope Not-a-Baptist Church. Or maybe they could take Brad's much-maligned recent post in an ugly new direction and sell off naming rights: Crest White Strips Church of Reston has a nice ring to it, just like your smile when you use Crest White Strips™.
• Lighted Cross Sparks Controversy - "It's right smack dab in the middle of my view. It looks like a beer sign." Wow, apparently the Jesus in a pint and King of Jews/King of Beers ads are working.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 11:11 AM
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December 11, 2006

Your Church, sponsored by Crest White Strips

Wharton's online business journal, Knowledge@Wharton did an article last month about the increasing amount of products and services being marketed in partnership with churches. From test driving SUVs during a Gospel concert to the church's involvement with so many big screen movies (Passion, Narnia and Nativity to name a few), mainstream marketers are realizing the potential that exists with bringing products to the pews, as opposed to waiting for the pews to come to their products.

The concept of taking a message to the people is nothing new. I don't remember Jesus ever inviting people to church/Temple, yet it appears churches are still learning this lesson. I digress.

The realization to mainstream marketers that congregations are a worthy market is long overdue. I also think churches are long overdue to harness this powerful partnership potential and consider the synergies. I am not suggesting we start re-naming our churches to include a sponsor's name, but there is certainly room for strategic and meaningful partnerships.

Continue reading "Your Church, sponsored by Crest White Strips"

Posted by Brad Abare at 7:34 AM
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October 26, 2006

The Church You Know

You've got to check out The Church You Know, a site that spoofs the NBC 'The More You Know' public service announcements with hokey digs at some goofy church practices. The site is all about poking fun and drawing attention to some of the things we do in the church that don't really matter. The things we get hung up on and really aren't the point. If it sound like a kindred spirit, I think they are.

And best of all, you can get a Christ is the Head ... I am the Rectum T-shirt. (link via Bob Franquiz)

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 6:10 AM
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July 18, 2006

Jesus Beer Billboard Prank

OK, this isn't strictly church marketing, but it made me laugh. Someone covered up a billboard in downtown Houston with their own billboard featuring a picture of Jesus holding a can of Budweiser and the phrases "King of Jews" and "King of Beers". It appears to be vandalism--professional looking vandalism--and has been up for a week or more.

I'll let you draw your own conclusions on this one.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 6:17 AM
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July 6, 2006

The Statue of Liberation Through Christ

You just can't make this stuff up.

72 feet tall. Cross instead of a torch. 10 Commandments in her arm. Total cost: $260,000. It's not quite Lady Liberty; it's the Statue of Liberation Through Christ, a monument erected by World Overcomers Outreach Ministries Church in Memphis, Tenn.

"[It's] a creative means of just really letting people know that God is the foundation of our nation," said the church's pastor, Alton R. Williams. According to the New York Times, Williams has also bought full page ads in a Memphis paper condemning homosexuality, lists "legalized abortion, a lack of prayer in schools and the country's 'promotion of expressions of New Age, Wicca, secularism and humanism,'" among the nation's ills, and claimed Hurricane Katrina was punishment for the sins of New Orleans.

Just add it to the other religious monuments, including 'touchdown' Jesus and the 99-foot eyesore.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 7:39 AM
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May 11, 2006

King of the Hill Goes to Church

How about a little pop culture perspective on church shopping and the ever-popular mega-church? Check out this clip of the Hill family going church shopping on King of the Hill and ending up at a local mega-church that even has a tram to the sanctuary. Hilarious.

Oh, and it's an important social commentary on the relevance of churches and a valuable avenue to vicariously experience the perspective of a church shopper. Yeah, that it. (link via Garth from our comments)

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 5:03 PM
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May 2, 2006

Church Advertising Sucks Advertisement

This ad for Corner Church in Minneapolis appeared in a recent issue of The City Pages, an alternative newsweekly in the Twin Cities. A church ad proclaiming that church advertising sucks? I don't get it.

It doesn't help that the type style for the slogan "Church advertising sucks" looks pretty familiar, but I can't quite place it.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 5:57 PM
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April 24, 2006

Get In Here Ministries

As part of their latest DVD pack of videos for church use, Igniter Media has created a great example of the wrong way to do ministry: Johnny Lang & Chachi Laruso of Get In Here Ministries. Yes, Igniter Media did create a fake web site for these cornball ministers. And it's pretty funny.

Check out the News World Today interview on the homepage for their secrets to ministry, including the "Altered Famous Saying" technique and the "Sarcastic Manipulative Comment" technique.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 5:18 PM
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April 6, 2006

Rejected Church Slogans

by Mike Atkinson, Guest Blogger

Dean Lusk, worship leader at Wall Highway Baptist Church in Madison, Ala., was recently working on a new slogan for the church when inspiration struck: "I originally thought of this as a 'Top 10 Rejected Church Slogans' project, but I only got to seven of them before life happened and I got back to work."

He came up with some pretty funny slogans. I bet the bright readers of CMS could come up with a few more... eh? (link via Wittenburg Door)

Posted by Guest Blogger at 10:06 AM
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March 25, 2006

Church Members Beat Burglar

You don't mess with the Church of the Nazarene in West Palm Beach, Fla. Church members were fed up after a string of burglaries, so they hid out in the church with baseball bats and waited for the perp. When he broke in at 1:00 a.m. they jumped him, beat him, and tied him up for the cops to cart away.

I'll let you make your own turn the other cheek riffs.

Update: CNN has video with more details, including $25,000 worth of stolen equipment and comments from one of the church members, Esteban Mendosa, who helped capture the burglar: "It rose to the point that we wanted to hurt him, but thank God that God put mercy in our hearts not to hurt him."

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 2:49 PM
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March 17, 2006

The Cross as a Giant Eyesore

West County Assembly of God Church in Town and Country, Mo. wants to put up a 99-foot cross to "give a Christian message to the people in the 164,655 vehicles passing the church daily" on nearby Highway 40. And if a 99-foot tall cross seems like overkill, they trimmed it back from a proposed 132 feet.

Public sentiment? "It's just an obnoxious endeavor," says Andy Luczkowski, one of the 100 people to show up at a public hearing on the proposal. Not exactly the kind of public support a church should be going for.

It's reminiscent of the 62-foot Jesus and quite frankly dwarfed by the 198-foot cross in Effingham, Ill. And you thought the British had trouble with crosses.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 7:57 AM
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March 13, 2006

Church Marketing via eBay

Here's a new way to bring in visitors: eBay. Atheist Hemant Mehta sold his soul on eBay, offering to attend an hour of church for each $10 of the final bid. The auction ended on Feb. 3 after 41 bids. The winner? Former evangelical minister Jim Henderson, founder of Off the Map, with a $504 bid.

Rather than cashing in on 50 hours of Mehta's church attendance, Henderson flew to Chicago to meet with Mehta in a bar and struck a deal: 10-15 hours of church services and writing about the experience.

"I'm not trying to convert you," Henderson told Mehta. "You're going there almost like a critic. If you happen to get converted, that's off the clock."

Mehta has offered critiques on everything from the sermon (irrelevant) to the liturgy (less) to the bulletin (weird language). Henderson has seen traffic to his web site spike.

With about half his obligation to Mr. Henderson fulfilled, Mr. Mehta says he's no closer to believing in God, although he does admire churches for the communities they create. Church, he has decided, is "not such a bad place to be."

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 8:30 AM
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The Cross as Advertising

Dudley Wood Methodist Church in the UK just moved to a new location and wanted to erect a cross so people would know their new location was a church. Not so fast, says the city. The Dudley council told the church the cross constitutes an advertisement under national planning laws and will require a $130 fee for planning permission.

So is the cross advertising? The church itself said they wanted to put up the cross so people would know the new building was being used as a church. They're certainly using it as a means to get the word out. You could compare it to a restaurant putting up a symbol denoting food, or an automotive store putting up a car symbol. Of course that's not exactly a flattering comparison for the cross.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 7:53 AM
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March 8, 2006

Go to Church, Get Free Chicken

I thought the whole church and business marketing tie-in thing would die down, but it just keeps coming. This time it's from the business side, with a Chick-fill-A restaurant offering free sandwiches for church bulletins.

Perhaps the McPassion wasn't so far fetched.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 9:07 PM
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March 7, 2006

McPassion: The Church Marketing Parody

Just in time for Lent, the McPassion is here. For the 40 days of Lent you can screen the 4-minutes church marketing parody video online.

"[Mel] Gibson's film was the spark for sure," said writer-producer Rik Swartzwelder, "but The McPassion is really more of a pointed take on what has happened since the release of his film—this kind of strange and intensifying, post-post-modern union between movie-marketing and houses of worship that his film helped give birth to. It's a hybrid that's a little scary and more than a little out of control; that's why we're putting our film out there now. The McPassion isn't about the movies so much as it's about how and where we sell them, and the overall commercialization of religion. It's about trying to give congregations a break from the commercial break; it's about the sanctuary being just that, the sanctuary."

The film clip is obviously over the top and offensive, but it's also hilarious. It's that corporate sponsorship article to the tenth degree.

Each McPassion meal comes with a crown of thorns and french fries shaped like the eucharist.

Order the McLoaves & Fishsticks--all you can eat!

Comes with the McShroud of Turin moist towelette.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 5:37 PM
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March 3, 2006

Church Franchising Gone Amuck

And while we're doing satire, how about some more from Lark News:

For 12 years Evergreen Christian Center was just another mega-church in Tennessee. Then the church radically changed its ministry approach. It began franchising itself. ...

In 2001 Evergreen began gobbling up churches across the nation and turning them into Evergreen clones, with identical features, down to the doorknobs, ushers' jackets and sermons. Even the pulpits and Sunday school rooms are the same.

"We're like Burger King or Subway--a solid, trustworthy business," says Evergreen brand manager Stefan Borcht.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 4:09 PM
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Corporate Sponsorship for Churches

Put your pitchforks down, it's just a spoof from a Lark News article, "Corporate Sponsorship a Boon to Church Budgets":

"This [offer] couldn't have come at a better time," says Jacob Helsinki, pastor of Mach 4 Baptist Church in Lemon Grove, Wash. His church has sold much of the "visual space" in their facility to advertisers, including the bathroom stalls to Burger King, the rim of the collection plates to Hewlett-Packard and the backs of pews to JollyTime popcorn. "We were facing real cutbacks for our youth programs, and these companies were more than happy to step in and bridge the gap, financially speaking." ...

At the end of the Sunday morning service at Doritos Cool Ranch Assembly of God church in Tustin, Calif., the worship leader segues from an uplifting praise song into the latest McDonald's jingle, "I'm loving it." The congregation joins in tentatively, some laughing at the irony. By the end of the jingle, they're singing heartily.

"We do our duty," says one parishioner after the service. "It helps buy Sunday school materials."

It's especially timely considering the real news about prizes being offered to pastors who worked The Chronicles of Narnia into their sermons.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 12:05 PM
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February 14, 2006

Getting Wrapped Up in a Story

Whew. This whole Satan tagline and hackers story is pretty crazy. Turns out the tagline was a legitimate mistake. The hackers thing--not true. We've received comments from the church's webmaster and I just called the church to confirm. No hackers.

What is wild about this story is the way a ton of people (myself included) have jumped on board. One thing we bloggers are good at is jumping on a story. While some bloggers love to espouse the fact-checking virtue of bloggers, many of us just don't do it. I trusted another blogger and went with the hacker story, and that was just dumb on my part.

But beyond the whole hacker sidestory, the pastor of St. James UCC pointed out to me that this all could have been avoided if the original blogger who noticed the wrong quote had just let them know instead of broadcasting to the world. He compared it to seeing pie on a friend's face and telling the whole room before you tell your friend. Sometimes we'd rather point and laugh than actually help somebody fix something.

And we're all guilty of that. So my apologies to St. James UCC. Church marketing often sucks, but that doesn't mean we should just stand around and laugh.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 12:49 PM
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February 12, 2006

Letting Satan Speak For Your Church

I find this hard to believe. I keep thinking I'm missing the joke, like an Onion article you mistake for real news.

St. James United Church of Christ in Limerick, Penn. has the following Bible verse as a slogan on their web site:

"If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine" Luke 4:7

Sound familiar? Those would be the words of one Prince of Darkness while tempting Jesus Christ. As a church's tagline? Seriously?

Like I said, I keep thinking it's a joke. The rest of their site is pretty progressive ("what if church is like spinach?"), but that's a little too progressive. (link via Jordon Cooper via Dashhouse via Between Two Worlds)

Update: Early word is that the church was the victim of hackers. Thought I smelled something fishy. Update: Nope, it was a simple lack of proofing.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 5:31 PM
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February 6, 2006

Pastor Uses Pepper Spray to Stop Fight

A Memphis pastor had to bust out the pepper spray when a church house brawl between kids carried over to the church bus Wednesday night.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that using pepper spray on children is not a good marketing move. That goes without saying, and the article gives very few details about what actually happened so we probably shouldn't jump to conclusions.

But it's fair to say that having to use pepper spray to stop a fight and sending 23 kids ages 5 to 15 and one 30-year-old to the hospital is indicitive of not enough help. Every church event needs to have enough volunteers to safely handle the number of people. It'd be smart to establish ratios and if you can't meet those ratios, cancel the event. Nothing encourages volunteers like canceling events. And nothing discourages visitors like pepper spraying their children.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 10:31 AM
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February 4, 2006

Mega-Church: The Game

Imagine if you could create the church you wanted, any way you wanted.

Put together a worship service exactly the way YOU want: hymns, no hymns, drums, no drums. Are you from Wisconsin? Start Polka Mass! Start a building campaign, ask for donations. Be the next Joel Osteen!

Mega Church: The Game

Yes, it is just a parody (relax!), but it's so good.

Posted by Kevin D. Hendricks at 2:26 PM
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